Fairytales play an important part in childhood development, because they give imaginary solutions to real fears. For example, Jack and the Bean Stalk, is about a little boy conquering a big person. When Jack gains power over the giants, i.e., adults, who control his life, he is dealing with his smallness and anger through a magical fantasy in which he triumphs. But, there are too many examples like Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty, where the heroine lives happily ever after, only after being saved by a man. That fairytale thinking, when carried into adulthood, creates a set-up of expectations that can never be fulfilled.
Solutions that worked in early childhood often fall short when we mature. In fact, fairytale thinking, if not replaced by more realistic problem-solving, can remain with us into adulthood, creating unrealistic expectations that leave us ill-equipped to deal with life´s everyday problems and stress.
Fairytales are like the frosting on the cake; they are the sugary solutions that cover unconscious impulses children try to control, but have not yet dealt with; because the cake underneath is the true basis for realistic problem solving. By helping children learn to develop realistic solutions to replace the myths and fantasies, parents help children mix the cake, which is then baked in the heat of real-life problems and experiences.
Mixing the cake
By the time children are pre-schoolers, parents need to help them move from the emotional, magical problem-solving of fairytale thinking toward thinking about what they feel in actual situations. For example, a parent might ask, “How do you think you should handle the problem?” Then, help the child develop a solution.
Unfortunately, when children do not get enough direction from adults, their emotions remain disconnected from their thinking process. This can lead to angry outbursts or feelings of helplessness that can continue into adulthood.
It is helpful to teach children real-life, concrete examples of problem solving. For example, “When you are running by the pool you could slip and fall.” With my son I shared times when I felt left out and helpless. After that, I also shared with him that actions I took to solve the problem. Children need a lot of examples that clearly show them how-to manage their emotions and impulses. It is also helpful for parents to share how they dealt with challenges of their childhoods.
Leaving perfect behind
In fairytales it is always clear who are the good guys and who are the bad guys. But, this also allows a child to do what is known as splitting. Splitting is when a child sees one parent as all good and the other as all bad. Problems develop when splitting continues into adulthood. Thus, the handsome prince, the dad, who is all good, becomes the orge who is all bad. And this happens within all different kinds of relationships, friendships, co-workers, even with neighbors.
Children think in magical terms, in all-or-nothing solutions. They believe that they are the center of the universe, but they are also naturally narcissistic, feeling as though they have to fight great forces for their place in the world. Children who learn that this is the normal way to be, grow to believe as adults that there is something wrong with them because they are not living the happily ever after scenario. Based upon this learning I´ve seen disaster after disaster in my psychotherapy practice.
Hopefully, as adults, we become more humble and realistic about our place in the world and learn to make a difference by loving as much as we can from wherever we are. Then, we are no longer looking for our perfect prince or princess. We recognize we are relating to real-life human beings, flaws and all. We are also capable of feeling valuable even if we are not the most beautiful prince or princess who ever lived.
In The New Marriage, there are contemporary answers to these transformations. People can learn that we are all inner-connected and that they can learn respect and compassion. This does not mean that they allow themselves to be victimized or abused. The mature person is able to face the difficult forces around them with creativity, flexibility, compassion and humor.
The frosting of magical wishes is important for a child´s development. However, true transforming requires a hearty cake that can be baked in the oven by real-life experience, in order to fulfill and live our dreams.
Copyright 2005-2006 Linda Miles Ph.D
Author, Dr. Linda Miles, is deeply committed to helping individuals and couples achieve rewarding relationships. She is an expert with a doctorate in Counseling Psychology, and has worked in the mental health field for over thirty years. She has been interviewed extensively on radio, TV, and in newspapers and magazines. Find more relationship ideas and relaxation techniques on her web site and in the award-winning book she co-authored, The New Marriage: Transcending the Happily-Ever-After Myth, and Train Your Brain: For Successful Relationships, CD.
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Almost every woman has a handbag. It is one of the essential things to carry around when you go to the office, to the church, or even when you’re just shopping around. The search for the perfect handbag is one of the most common problems that women encounter. Think it’s funny? Well, to most women it is not. The process of selecting the right handbag can be a daunting task.
Seldom can you find women without a handbag. And this is true from professional women to the ordinary ones. And most of the time, their handbags compliment the dress that they usually wear.
The handbag has a certain magnetic power that is probably why most women can’t leave their homes without carrying a handbag. Women carry all sorts of things like make-ups, lipsticks, perfumes, and many ‘little things’ that only women enjoy carrying. Where else are they to put those things but in a handbag. Aside from handbags, you can also find a purse or a cosmetic bag inside it.
So you see, when you say handbag, the first thing that probably comes into your mind are women; or is it the other way around? Nevertheless, these two go along well with each other.
The newest trend today in women’s handbags is the so called photo/picture handbag. It is named so because of the picture that you can find on the bag itself. It is now possible to purchase a personally customized handbag.
If you haven’t been shopping for a new bag lately, maybe it’s time that you catch up on the latest things offered now in the market.
Picture handbags are gaining a lot of popularity. With these bags, you can actually choose what picture to incorporate in the bag. It may be a picture from a favorite movie scene, or personal pictures of family and friends.
The thing is you are free to choose which picture to put in the bag. It is not a simple process though, so you need to hire professional help or simply purchase directly from a manufacturer.
First step is to choose which picture or photo to incorporate in the handbag; then select the handbag design. It would help to know that tote and bucket style bags are more appropriate to use for picture handbags. These bags come in different shapes and sizes. The larger the bag, the more costly it will become.
Aside from tote and bucket bags, you can also have pictures embedded in a beach or diaper bag. Most picture handbags have pictures printed on only one side, but if you wish to have both sides contain pictures, you can make a request. Expect to pay more money anyway.
If you want, your petite bags, cosmetic bags and purses can also be turned into photo/picture bags that will match your handbag.
Owning even just one picture bag will prove to be a good investment. You can actually say that you’ve been creative enough to choose the particular design of your handbag, and not only that, it has an added personal touch.
Spending a certain amount of money on your picture handbag is nothing compared to your unending search for the perfect handbag that will suit your needs. Now, you can have a handbag that will carry your personal signature in it.
Mario Churchill is a freelance author and has written over 200 articles on various subjects. For more information checkout http://www.snaptotes.com and http://styleends.com.
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1. CELEBRATE VALENTINES DAY EVERY DAY: Love is a practice. Say I love you in the morning and at night… more is better.Share with one another the things that give you the greatest pleasure and help one another’s dream come true. For example if you partner loves music, bring home CDs or tickets to concerts often. If your partner loves football watch with him on a regular basis. Remember these are GIFTS and are done without resentment;you are dream-makers. A good relationship is like good sex—both partners give and receive what they want.
2. HEAT UP THE BEDROOM: Since most men are visual,they appreciate lingerie.Women tend to need to be “talked up” during the day. However,everyone is different so you need a love map to one another.
3. MAKE CONNECTIONS: Research shows that happy couples connect often with their eyes, soft voice ,body language. Cool couples have habitual ways they distance. Communicate connection. Use soft eyes when you look at your partner and touch often.
4. LIVE PASSIONATELY AND NOT JUST FOR PASSION: A wise Native American once said, “As you go the way of life you will see a great chasm. Jump… It is not as wide as you think.” If your life is cool, how can your relationship stay hot?
5. IN LOVING THE SPIRITUAL IT IS DIFFICULT TO DESPISE THE EARTHLY. Develop a spiritual practice together. You can use prayer, inspirational readings, meditation. Offer gratitude to one another by sharing one thing you appreciate about your partner before you go to sleep. This practice builds a positive emotional bank account. Spiritual practice generates warmth that heats up the relationship.
6. DON’T JUST SURVIVE,VISUALIZE: Visualize your dream relationship. Close your eyes and feel the warmth and connection. Affirm what you want. Our unconscious mind is filled with negative thoughts. Retrain your brain. Many people never saw a model of a hot relationship so they need lots of visualization practice. A famous neuroscientist observed, “In the brain, practice makes permanent”
7. WE CANNOT STOP LIFE’S SORROWS BUT WE CAN CHOOSE JOY: Mother Theresa said, “Our best protection is a joyful heart” Have fun together. Act like kids. Masters and Johnson observed good sex is like two children under the sheets.
8. WAKE UP WITHOUT MAKE-UP: We cannot have true intimacy unless we drop our masks.Live every day like Valentines Day instead of Halloween!
As William Blake attests,” men and women are not alien creatures….we all want the same things”. Positive touch is so important it helps people love longer, decrease blood pressure, and improve the immune system. Renee Spitz was the first to identify that although babies in orphanages were fed and changed if they weren’t held, they’d die.
Dr. Linda Miles has been a psychotherapist for over thirty years and is determined to share many of the things she has learned. She had seen countless couples who behave in a cold and indifferent way to one another because they lack the skills to keep the fire burning. If they could have life-affirming, “lived” experiences instead of celebrating what is dead, their disagreements would seem trivial and the distance cold and lonely. She offers these keys to more meaningful connection.
Dr. Linda Miles is deeply committed to helping individuals and couples achieve rewarding relationships. She is an expert with a doctorate in Counseling Psychology, and has worked in the mental health field for over thirty years. She has been interviewed extensively on radio, TV, and in newspapers and magazines. Find more relationship ideas and relaxation techniques on her web site and in the award-winning book she co-authored, The New Marriage: Transcending the Happily-Ever-After Myth, and Train Your Brain: For Successful Relationships, CD. http://www.drlindamiles.com.
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Sexy costumes can transform your boring everyday existence into an exciting adventure fantasy. Transform yourself with a french maid costume into a sexy insatiable temptress or a school girl costume into an innocent virgin school girl.
There are a huge range of sexy costumes designed to suit a wide variety of occasions and moods. You can find many daring costumes to wear for an intimate, romantic evening.
Here’s a look at some of the popular costume outfits.
Maid costumes are very popular. French maid costumes are even more so. There are a huge variety of maid costumes ranging from the classy to sultry maid outfits and even sheer ones.
School girl costumes can be found in many costume stores onlline and are available in different types. Two piece costumes, sorority costumes, cookie girl costumes, reform school girl costumes, brownie girl costumes, Girl Scout costumes, Parisian and Eton school girl costumes, you name it, you’ll find it.
Marilyn Monroe costumes are another big hit. Remember that famous white dress that made Marilyn Monroe the household name that she is today? Well, you can outfit yourself in exactly the same costume – the legendary white stretch cire dress.
Another popular costume is the Marilyn Monroe adult costume. This costume includes a long, strapless vinyl dress with a slit, back bow and long, matching vinyl gloves. This is a sexy costume and has been nicknamed “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend”.
Nurse costumes have for a long time, been the most famous of all costume categories. You can choose between a halter bedroom nurse outfit or a candy nurse outfit. There are even nurse teddy costumes.
Other speciality in-demand outfits are police girl costumes, cheer leader costumes and Arabian dancer costumes. </b
No matter what the occasion is, you can be assured that a costume outfit will help you attract the kind of attention you are looking for and turn you into whatever you have fantasized about.
Kalwant Rana is A Freelance Writer For <a href=”http://www.sexy-plus-size-lingerie-org.uk”>http://www.sexy-plus-size-lingerie-org.uk. You Can Find Lots Of Useful Information And Reviews About All Kinds Of Plus Size lingerie From Simple Bras To Sexy Costumes.
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With weddings come gifts. Lots of them. Between the bridal shower, the engagement party, and the wedding itself, gifts are showered almost continuously on the happy couple so they can start their new life together.
Deciding what to give and when, however, can be a bit puzzling. Do you buy a registry gift for the bridal shower, or something more personal just for the bride? And what do you bring to the engagement party?
Don’t worry. We’ve got all the answers, as well as some creative gift ideas you can mull over before you go out gift shopping.
First off, the Bridal Shower is a party thrown just for the bride. Talk to the person organizing the shower (most likely the Maid of Honor), and ask what kind of shower it’s going to be. Many bridal showers revolve around a theme, and thus the gifts do as well. For example, if the couple is honeymooning in Aruba, the theme might be travel. You could buy her some new luggage for their trip, some luxurious beach towels, an exquisite beach tote, etc. Let your imagination go wild! You might also find out where they’re staying, and purchase a gift certificate for them to have a nice dinner while they’re on their trip.
If it is a small, personal shower you could get her something a bit more racy like some sexy lingerie, or even a new cozy bathrobe and slippers to make her feel comfortable.
You can, however, get a bit more creative in your gift and go outside the box. What about giving the bride a day at the spa to relax? With all the running around she’s about to start doing, it will be well appreciated! You could also get her a gift certificate to a fine salon to get her hair and makeup done. This could be used for the wedding day itself, or just a treat to pamper herself.
An Engagement Party is thrown for the couple, and it is perfectly acceptable to buy registry gifts for this event. Chances are, however, they’ve already accumulated plenty of dishes and towels, so why not get creative in your gift giving?
With a bit of research you could find a restaurant that puts together picnic dinners. Buying them a complete picnic with basket, blanket, wine and dessert would make for a very fun day for the couple to spend together.
Or, find out what they like to do together. If the couple enjoys the outdoors, why not buy them a year pass to the local state park? If they enjoy ice-skating, why not purchase a year’s pass to the local rink? If rock climbing is their thing, a pass to the local climbing gym would be a great gift.
If you’re feeling fun, you should think games. Croquet, volleyball, basketball, or board games are all fun ideas for some creative gifts they certainly won’t expect – and won’t get from anyone else.
With a little creativity you can certainly break the mold of dishtowels and bathmats for a shower or engagement gift. Using your imagination and a little ‘out of the box’ thinking will ensure you get the couple a gift that they will have fun with, and one that will be long remembered.
Copyright (c) 2007 Pat Brill
Pat Brill is co-founder of http://www.SilkBow.com which supports Busy Moms with free gift ideas and helpful tips to meet the challenges of motherhood. She is also co-founder of http://www.WellnessArticles.net , a directory of articles covering many areas of wellness. You can reach Pat at pat@SilkBow.com.
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From time to time, we see so many horror movies come and go. Spooky, haunted houses, serial killers, slashers, maniacs, mentals, satanic and many others have been pictured in the movie. A lot of sub genres, a lot of remakes, a lot of variations, twist and all that can easily be found through the ages. Yeah, it’s all true. But have we ever thought where it all came from? Or how does the horror movies genre change from time to time?
For you who share the same passion about horror movies, and want to know the road that have been travelled by Horror movies, allow me to have the honor to be your guide. Buckle up, here we go.
Where It All Began
The year was 1922, place: German. I can say that it was the birth of horror movies. W Murnau started the terror and fear thru Nosferatu, nosferatuthe story about bloodsucking vampire. It wasn’t the first vampire movie, as in 1896 Georges Melies made Le Castle Du Diable, but Nosferatu was the first movie where we saw vampire destroyed by sunlight. This one boasted remarkable animalistic makeup that has not been replicated, even with modern technology. Dozens of vampire movies followed after that. In 1931 Universal Studio launched 2 legendary horror movies, Dracula with Bela Lugosi and Frankenstein with Boris Karloff. Both of the movie became a classic and very successful. Boris Karloff even became a legendary name in horror movies history. The Mummy (1932) a silent picture with horror icon Boris Karloff in the title role, remains a classic, with unforgettable make-up and atmosphere. In 1935, the sequel of Frankenstein, The Bride Of Frankenstein was made.This isn’t silent anymore.
Psycho
During 40’s the world’s on war, and it has changed the genre. Horror was almost forgotten as patriotic movies and war has taken the place. It slowly raised again around 50’s, where comedy and musical movies ruled. There were good ones took place at this time, House of Wax is one of the example. 1960 was the time for Hitchcock to make a memorable movie: Psycho. Too bad, this is the only horror movie by Hitchcock, cuz then he made lots of suspence thriller goodies like Rear Window, Vertigo,North by Northwest,Dial M For Murder that kinda changed the genre again. And remember, spaghetti western Movies in the late 60’s also had its moment.
The 70’s
This is the most creative year of Horror movies.Unlike before, horror movies got big exploration, where so many variation of story and evil came in. Note there were lots of controversy and protest happened here.The Exorcist (1973) for example showed disgusting scenes that never been imagined before, like the green puke to the face transformed to evil. This movie was controversial when Catholic Church protested that the demon cast-out in the movie was against the code of conduct. The shining, that based on Stephen King’s novel was one of the best one during 70’s. Later on from this decade to 80s and 90s, lots of movies was made based on his scary novel such as Carrie, Christine, Cujo, It, , Cat’s Eye, Dream Catcher, are the example. Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) was a low budget movie that reached a great result. This one introduced “the slasher movie” to the world that later followed by Halloween (say hi to Michael Myers) , Friday the 13th, Scream in the 80’s and 90’s and so on. Omen is a bonechillin’ movie that can still give you nightmare even with today’s technology of making movie.Simply unforgettable. Amityville Horror, based on the true story was the first movie that took place in the actual location. The report said a lot of bizzare and dreadful things were experienced by cast and crew in location.
The 80’s
Freddie Kruger
This is the decade of madness. All gory stuff were shown sadistically for viewing. cutted off body parts were seen everywhere. Nightmare on Elm Street that launched Freddy Krueger to horror hall of fame, and Jason Voorheyes slashing games in Friday the 13th are one of the example. These two had some of their sequels during 80s, together with 3 of Halloweens. And remember how Italian horror movies that have a very sick super bloody vision? Count Romero and Argento for this category. This is also the era where horror expanded to tv.
The 90’s
Funny thing happened in 90s. There’s a tendency of self defense and self actualization by horror character on terror they have made to people. For example Ghost, Bram Stocker’s Dracula that told the story about Count Dracula’s painful love to Mina, or Interview With Vampires that unlocked the mystery of vampire lives. Scream started a new genre, teen horror movies, slashing-serial-killer-who-did-it,which soon followed by I Know What You Did Last Summer, Urban Legend, and some more. A note in 1999, an independent movie Blair Witch Project became a big phenomena,using a documentation technique to give us fear,tense and mental disturbance. This one inspired some other movies like St.Francisville Experiment, The Lamarie Project and tv series Freaky Links.
2000’s
Ringu
Still too early maybe to talk about horror movies in 2000s, but looks like Hollywood has running out of ideas. They are trying to widen up their view to see new ideas outside that can give new vision on the term of horror. The Ring, remake from Japanese movie was their first success. Followed by The eye, and some other remakes from Asian cinemas. This decade seems being led by Japan and Korea, by making so many horror movies with lack of effects or gory blood but still successfully tortured our feeling. They don’t go with the Hollywood pattern, they just dig everything else that hasn’t been touched yet. Thailand is also emerging as a good horror maker. Indonesian movies too, with amusing number of horror movies every year. We also mark the decade 2000 for the decade of sequels and remakes too, such as Halloween H2O, Freddy vs Jason, modern version of Bram Stocker’s Dracula, Dracula 2001, Halloween Resurrection , The Texas Chainsaw Massacre , House of The Dead, The Amityville Horror and so on. While the effort to combine some genres and produce something new has still been going on. Saw for example, combine the psycho thriller ala Hitchkock with slasher, sadistic, bloody and graphic scenes. My prediction? I think this decade will continue to do so. Hopefully in the next decade we will see some new approach, style and way to present horror movies. Let’s wait and see where the horror movies continue their path.
Riandy Kurniawan
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From time to time, we see so many horror movies come and go. Spooky, haunted houses, serial killers, slashers, maniacs, mentals, satanic and many others have been pictured in the movie. A lot of sub genres, a lot of remakes, a lot of variations, twist and all that can easily be found through the ages. Yeah, it’s all true. But have we ever thought where it all came from? Or how does the horror movies genre change from time to time?
For you who share the same passion about horror movies, and want to know the road that have been travelled by Horror movies, allow me to have the honor to be your guide. Buckle up, here we go.
Where It All Began
The year was 1922, place: German. I can say that it was the birth of horror movies. W Murnau started the terror and fear thru Nosferatu, nosferatuthe story about bloodsucking vampire. It wasn’t the first vampire movie, as in 1896 Georges Melies made Le Castle Du Diable, but Nosferatu was the first movie where we saw vampire destroyed by sunlight. This one boasted remarkable animalistic makeup that has not been replicated, even with modern technology. Dozens of vampire movies followed after that. In 1931 Universal Studio launched 2 legendary horror movies, Dracula with Bela Lugosi and Frankenstein with Boris Karloff. Both of the movie became a classic and very successful. Boris Karloff even became a legendary name in horror movies history. The Mummy (1932) a silent picture with horror icon Boris Karloff in the title role, remains a classic, with unforgettable make-up and atmosphere. In 1935, the sequel of Frankenstein, The Bride Of Frankenstein was made.This isn’t silent anymore.
Psycho
During 40’s the world’s on war, and it has changed the genre. Horror was almost forgotten as patriotic movies and war has taken the place. It slowly raised again around 50’s, where comedy and musical movies ruled. There were good ones took place at this time, House of Wax is one of the example. 1960 was the time for Hitchcock to make a memorable movie: Psycho. Too bad, this is the only horror movie by Hitchcock, cuz then he made lots of suspence thriller goodies like Rear Window, Vertigo,North by Northwest,Dial M For Murder that kinda changed the genre again. And remember, spaghetti western Movies in the late 60’s also had its moment.
The 70’s
This is the most creative year of Horror movies.Unlike before, horror movies got big exploration, where so many variation of story and evil came in. Note there were lots of controversy and protest happened here.The Exorcist (1973) for example showed disgusting scenes that never been imagined before, like the green puke to the face transformed to evil. This movie was controversial when Catholic Church protested that the demon cast-out in the movie was against the code of conduct. The shining, that based on Stephen King’s novel was one of the best one during 70’s. Later on from this decade to 80s and 90s, lots of movies was made based on his scary novel such as Carrie, Christine, Cujo, It, , Cat’s Eye, Dream Catcher, are the example. Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) was a low budget movie that reached a great result. This one introduced “the slasher movie” to the world that later followed by Halloween (say hi to Michael Myers) , Friday the 13th, Scream in the 80’s and 90’s and so on. Omen is a bonechillin’ movie that can still give you nightmare even with today’s technology of making movie.Simply unforgettable. Amityville Horror, based on the true story was the first movie that took place in the actual location. The report said a lot of bizzare and dreadful things were experienced by cast and crew in location.
The 80’s
Freddie Kruger
This is the decade of madness. All gory stuff were shown sadistically for viewing. cutted off body parts were seen everywhere. Nightmare on Elm Street that launched Freddy Krueger to horror hall of fame, and Jason Voorheyes slashing games in Friday the 13th are one of the example. These two had some of their sequels during 80s, together with 3 of Halloweens. And remember how Italian horror movies that have a very sick super bloody vision? Count Romero and Argento for this category. This is also the era where horror expanded to tv.
The 90’s
Funny thing happened in 90s. There’s a tendency of self defense and self actualization by horror character on terror they have made to people. For example Ghost, Bram Stocker’s Dracula that told the story about Count Dracula’s painful love to Mina, or Interview With Vampires that unlocked the mystery of vampire lives. Scream started a new genre, teen horror movies, slashing-serial-killer-who-did-it,which soon followed by I Know What You Did Last Summer, Urban Legend, and some more. A note in 1999, an independent movie Blair Witch Project became a big phenomena,using a documentation technique to give us fear,tense and mental disturbance. This one inspired some other movies like St.Francisville Experiment, The Lamarie Project and tv series Freaky Links.
2000’s
Ringu
Still too early maybe to talk about horror movies in 2000s, but looks like Hollywood has running out of ideas. They are trying to widen up their view to see new ideas outside that can give new vision on the term of horror. The Ring, remake from Japanese movie was their first success. Followed by The eye, and some other remakes from Asian cinemas. This decade seems being led by Japan and Korea, by making so many horror movies with lack of effects or gory blood but still successfully tortured our feeling. They don’t go with the Hollywood pattern, they just dig everything else that hasn’t been touched yet. Thailand is also emerging as a good horror maker. Indonesian movies too, with amusing number of horror movies every year. We also mark the decade 2000 for the decade of sequels and remakes too, such as Halloween H2O, Freddy vs Jason, modern version of Bram Stocker’s Dracula, Dracula 2001, Halloween Resurrection , The Texas Chainsaw Massacre , House of The Dead, The Amityville Horror and so on. While the effort to combine some genres and produce something new has still been going on. Saw for example, combine the psycho thriller ala Hitchkock with slasher, sadistic, bloody and graphic scenes. My prediction? I think this decade will continue to do so. Hopefully in the next decade we will see some new approach, style and way to present horror movies. Let’s wait and see where the horror movies continue their path.
Riandy Kurniawan
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A good amount of pleasurable sexual act is undeniably one of the most important components which helps to build and maintain a successful and rewarding relationship. In most cases, good sex speaks louder than words when it comes down to love and intimacy between both partners.
Both partners are equally responsible for giving the others a total sexual pleasure. It is very easy sometimes for a woman to think it is her man’s responsibility to give her sexual pleasure and to make her come. From time to time, certain women would also have the idea that they should not be too wild in bed, as this might give their partner a sense of insecurity! This is a total myth and one which should be addressed immediately if she ever hopes to have a totally satisfying relationship!
Women sure can be charming by the way they present themselves and also by the way they dress up. But, men like women who are also great in bed. Men like women who take the initiative and are confident in their sexual act. Men like women who give them complete pleasure and satisfaction at the end of the sexual act and they themselves should feel satisfied with their partners.
It is often said that only when women have 7 times the pleasure as men that women can reach an orgasm. This is totally wrong! The truth is, a woman can have no orgasm but that does not mean she is not satisfied with the sexual experience. At the same time, a woman may have multiple orgasms. The ultimate aim for a woman would be to satisfy her partner and herself.
A woman should devise new ways to excite her man in the beginning and get him involved completely in the sexual act. She can also gift herself or her man sex videos. This is certainly going to turn both of them on. Sex videos are a great resource to learn the finer and more beautiful nuances of sex. Videos also help you learn different better sex positions so that sex does not become a monotonous act.
A better sex tips for women would be to get stimulated in the beginning. Performing sex just for the sake of doing it won’t bring in any enthusiasm and pleasure. The most important part is to be you throughout the whole sexual act.
Women should be as flexible as possible in the whole sexual experience. Try out different things to excite your partner. Like, tying a handkerchief around his eyes and then slowly running your fingers on his body or, you can write erotic stories and then narrate them to your partner in order to stimulate him and respond to your demands.
Communication, both verbal and sexual is another important aspect which help to improve your love life. Tell your partner how comfortable you feel in his arms and thank him for the great sexual experience. Tell him that you would like to take the fantastic journey as much as you can. This is sure going to build a stronger sexual bond between you and your partner.
You can also create an environment to excite your partner like lighting candles in the room, keeping the room dark, playing soft love songs which you both enjoy and so on.
At the end of the day, it is a matter of communication, both verbal and sexual, that is going to make your relationship works. Be selfless and live for the moment for each other.
Leah Holden is The “Better Sex Expert”. Leah’s mission is sharing her vast array of sexual knowledge with individuals and couples. To spice up your sex life, please visit Leah’s blog, http://better–sex.blogspot.com
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Ever felt aggrieved that other entrepreneurs make the headlines but you don’t? Louise Third, founder of Integra Communications, the enterprise PR specialists, says it’s not as tough as it looks; it just requires planning and the application of some basic rules.
Kevin and Dawn Hartley, the owners of Mozart’s Restaurant in Nottingham have tangible evidence that a planned use of PR can significantly improve sales. The couple, who opened the 40-seat restaurant in November 2002, decided to take every opportunity to contact their local press and radio with ‘news’ and comment. Their opening was marked on Radio Trent FM with champagne and canapés and was followed a month later by a 2 hour Christmas Show broadcast live from the restaurant. BBC Radio Nottingham carried a Valentine’s recipe on the website and 50,000 listeners enjoyed a live cooking session in association with the Nottingham Restaurant Awards.
“Our biggest media coverage success came on National No-Smoking Day in 2004 when we took the decision to announce that Mozart’s had become Nottingham’s first totally non-smoking restaurant,” says Head Chef Kevin. “Not only did BBC Radio Nottingham interview us then, but when the government White Paper on smoking was published last November, we were bombarded with requests for interviews.” Kevin and Dawn found themselves on several local radio stations, and in front of regional TV cameras. Although the media requests were quite demanding, the couple made themselves available for interview, thus helping the journalists complete their work and gaining a profile for the restaurant. As a direct result of their PR efforts, the Hartleys have enjoyed a 15% rise in trade.
Inside every small business is a story bursting to get out. Start with that positive attitude and you will get thinking creatively about possible media coverage. A clever use of public relations will help people to understand what you offer, will gradually build your reputation and keep you at the forefront of people’s minds – ahead of the competition!
Basic rules
The fact that Kevin and Dawn planned a media campaign as part of their overall sales strategy brings us to the first rule of sound public relations:
1. Use PR as an integral part of your marketing plan: once you have decided the level of sales you need to breakeven and then to make a profit, identify those who need to know about you and what you offer. If you have opened a new shop, customers may be very local but if you specialise they may travel from much further away. Perhaps you coach senior executives to cope in stressful conditions: then your potential clients may be the UK’s FTSE 100 companies or large public corporations. You may decide to use a combination of direct mail, networking so you get referrals/recommendations and publicity.
2. Identify what your target customers read, watch and listen to. This is likely to be a mixture of local, regional and national papers, trade or professional magazines, local and national radio stations and TV, not to mention all the ‘New Media’ options. If it is practical, ask them; if you are visiting their premises, what publications can you see in reception? Make a list, find the name of the most relevant editor or feature writer and call them to see how they would like to receive your news. The fax machine used to be widely used to issue press releases; this was then overtaken by email, but ironically many PR firms are reverting to fax; it can’t be erased or ignored and is still cheaper than post. Then there’s the direct call to the journalist or news desk…….if you have a very strong story. However, be realistic. Don’t set your sights on regular television coverage, but equally don’t rule it out (at least regionally).
3. Find the ‘news’. Be ruthless and think like a journalist, otherwise your release will get tossed in the bin. The journalist will be looking for things their readers will find interesting, amusing or useful. Here are a few ideas, but there are as many permutations as there are businesses:
ˇ a significant new contract
ˇ launch of a survey / report
ˇ a new appointment
ˇ sponsorship of a local charity / event
ˇ welcome or condemn new policy/proposals
ˇ claim first/last/biggest/latest (but avoid best!)
ˇ launch a campaign / involve a celebrity
ˇ letters to the Editor
During Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I helped a client, Linda Russell, to launch a new shop in north-Nottinghamshire. Not that newsworthy you may think, but this was no ordinary shop and Linda is no ordinary lady. Having recovered from breast cancer and reconstructive surgery at the age of 31, Linda launched ‘Perfect Fit’, an online service selling the latest designs and styles of lingerie for women with post-operative needs. The shop would allow Linda to display her stock, provide a professional fitting service and offer a sanctuary for women to meet and talk. We issued a pre-opening media release with the headline, ‘Linda’s Perfect Fit helps Breast Cancer ‘blues” and linked the launch to Breast Cancer Awareness month by including a quote and useful statistics from the regional Cancer Research UK representative. This small campaign had all the necessary ‘hooks’ for media coverage and gave the journalists what they needed. As a result Linda received full page and editorial coverage in the main regional press, feature and interview slots on local radio and a phone-in on BBC Radio Nottingham. Timing, planning and sensitive delivery was all it took.
4. Write the media release. Although you want to encourage the journalists to use your story, this is not a sales pitch, so avoid gushing praise of yourself and your product. Here are some basic guidelines:
ˇ Cover the facts in the first paragraph including who, what, why, when, where and how as clearly as you can.
ˇ The second paragraph should build on the first and carry any significant facts
ˇ Include a quote; this adds personality and endorsement to the story
ˇ Use Notes at the end to carry background information which reporters can use for research. Remember to include a contact name and number.
ˇ Choose a simple, attention-grabbing headline which re-enforces the overall message
ˇ Type MEDIA RELEASE at the top, date it and indicate when the information can be published.
ˇ Use A4 paper, 1.5 line-spacing, wide margins and type
ˇ ENDS to indicate you have finished.
ˇ Limit your release to one page if possible, two at the most. Short, informative and interesting goes down well with busy reporters.
ˇ A well constructed, high resolution (300 dpi) photo can turn a mediocre story into the one that gets coverage.
ˇ Proof-read the release before it goes out. Then get someone else to do it again. It’s amazzing what you can misss……
5. The follow-up. So far so good, but now comes the tricky bit: you need to check that the right person has got your release and if so, talk to them about the chances of it being used. Always assume the journalist or editor is busy and ask if they are free to talk. Be prepared as they may have additional questions and may need convincing of the strength of your story. Don’t say anything you wouldn’t want reported if it sounds as though they are interviewing you. Radio stations will either pre-record an interview in person or over the phone, or ask you into the studio, again to pre-record or go live. Check that you know exactly what to expect; it is not unreasonable to ask what the questions might be.
Kevin Hartley of Mozart’s Restaurant has learned a great deal from the experience and has no doubt that working with the media is good for business. “You need to make yourself media-friendly; that means being very flexible so they can meet their deadlines. You need to build a list of contacts at the local radio, press and TV offices and be bold enough to pick up the phone when you have some news. We now seem to be in their database, so journalists wanting a restaurateur to comment on something seem to ring me.” It just goes to show how even the smallest business can make headlines .
Finally, as media relations is a commercial activity you should try to measure the effect any exposure has had. It can be as simple as monitoring phones calls and website hits in the period immediately following the coverage. If you convert these into sales, all the better. If people are more aware of you, introductions become that much easier. Stick at it and you will be amazed how a little effort can go along way.
Mozart’s Restaurant: http://www.mozarts.co.uk
Perfect Fit: http://www.perfectfit-online.co.uk
Louise Third is a Partner in Integra Communications http://www.integracommunications.co.uk Alongside the agency, Louise provides a coaching service, giving PR guidance to smaller businesses who might not be able to afford an agency but are prepared to do the legwork themselves.
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